The Conversation That Taught Me to Hear Between the Words.
- Andre Abouzeid
- Jan 25
- 4 min read
The real decision is usually hidden in the parts people don’t say.
Most deals don’t die because you explained badly. They die because you didn’t hear what was really happening between the words.
Want the full long-form story with extra examples?
Read the expanded version on Medium here: The full post on Medium
“This sounds perfect, Andre. Let me review everything and I’ll get back to you.”
I hung up at 3:47 PM on a Tuesday feeling confident.
I followed up at 4:12 PM. Clear. Professional. Exactly what we discussed.
Then… silence.
A week passed. Then two. Then three.
When I finally reached him again, he said:
“Oh Andre—yeah, I decided to hold off for now.”
And that’s when it hit me: the real conversation wasn’t in his words.
It was in the gaps between them.
The Signal I Ignored
On the surface, the call sounded great. The words were positive. The tone was warm.
But when I replayed it later, I noticed something I missed in the moment:
He didn’t talk like someone who was deciding.
He talked like someone who needed permission.
During the conversation, he mentioned other people three times:
“I should probably talk to my partner about this.”
“My accountant usually weighs in on these decisions.”
“The timing needs to work for everyone involved.”
At the time, those sounded like small comments. Background noise.
But they weren’t. They were signals.
Because when someone keeps pointing to other people, one of three things is usually true:
They are not the real decision-maker.
They are the decision-maker, but they need validation.
They are trying to avoid the emotional risk of deciding alone.
I didn’t know which one it was.
But I knew I missed the real conversation—the one happening in the gaps between his words.
So I stopped chasing better scripts—and started building a better way to listen.
The Simple Habit That Changed Everything
I didn’t need a new presentation. I needed a system.
So I started a simple habit: after every important conversation—calls, meetings, serious chats—I took five minutes and captured what most people ignore.
Not what I said.
What they did.
What they repeated.
What they avoided.
What changed in their energy near the end.
Here’s what I wrote down after each conversation:
What questions did they ask?
What words or phrases did they repeat?
What did they mention “in passing”?
What was the energy at the end?
Nothing complicated. Just observations.
After 30 days, I had notes from about 25 conversations. Some moved forward. Most didn’t.
One evening, I reviewed my notes.
And then I saw it.
The Words That Predict Everything
Certain phrases kept showing up in conversations that went nowhere:
“Let me think about it.”
“Send me the information.”
“I need to talk to someone.”
“The timing isn’t right.”
“I’m still exploring my options.”
The conversations that did move forward used different language:
“What’s the next step?”
“When can we start?”
“Walk me through exactly how this works.”
“What do I need to do on my end?”
Same offer. Same explanation. Different intent.
Here’s the simplest way to say it:
People who are moving forward ask how. People who are not ask for time.
A Breakthrough Moment
A few months into this habit, I had a conversation with a potential partner.
Eight minutes in, he said:
“I’m really just gathering information right now.”
The old version of me would have kept presenting, sent materials, and hoped for the best.
The newer version of me paused—because my notes were clear: people who say “I’m gathering information” often disappear.
So I asked a better question:
“I appreciate the honesty. In my experience, when someone is gathering information, they’re usually trying to resolve one specific concern. What’s the real question you’re trying to answer?”
Three seconds of silence.
Then he said:
“To be honest… I got burned on something similar a few years ago. I’m trying not to make the same mistake again.”
There it was. Not information.
Fear.
A few weeks later, we were working together.
Not because I had a better pitch.
Because I asked a better question at the right moment.
A Simple Objection System I Still Use
Most objections are not rejection. They are a request for clarity, safety, or confidence.
So I use a simple 4-step loop. It works in any industry:
Listen + acknowledge (don’t interrupt)
“I hear you.” / “I appreciate you sharing that.”
“So if I’m hearing you right, your main concern is ___. Is that correct?”
Discover the real reason (clarify + isolate)
“Is it timing, budget, trust, or confidence?”
“What makes you say that?”
“If we solve that one point, are you ready to move forward?”
Relate (a short human story)
“You’re not alone. Someone felt the same. We did __. Result: __.”
Next step (close cleanly)
“If I clarify ___ now, are you open to the next step?”
Or: “Do you want to do it now, or set a time tomorrow and decide then?”
The Simple System Anyone Can Use
After each important conversation (5 minutes), write:
What questions did they ask?
What words/topics repeated?
What did they mention casually that might not be casual?
What was the energy at the end?
Once a week (30 minutes), review:
What phrases show up before people disappear?
What phrases show up before people commit?
Before your next conversation (30 seconds), write one prediction:
“Based on patterns, I think the real concern will be __.”
Then test it with a clean question:
“What would need to be true for you to move forward?”
“Who else needs to be involved?”
“What risk are you trying to avoid?”
“If we solve this one point, can we proceed?”
Want the full expanded version?
If you want the complete story + extra examples and wording you can copy into real conversations, read the long-form version on Medium:
The full post on Medium
About the Author
Andre Abouzeid is a Dubai-based entrepreneur and author who writes about communication, sales psychology, and practical patterns that help people build stronger results—without pressure or manipulation.
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